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The key to looking fabulous is looking like shit most of the time so it's more of a surprise zipper pouch

$11.00

My husband just said, "calm down" like he wants his own dateline special cocktail napkins

$6.50

coffee and wine are like my life coaches

$13.00

so how do you stop eating chips and salsa

$13.00

I see all these moms who can do everything, and I think I should have them do some stuff for me.

$13.00

Procrastination is a good thing, you always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today. 100 sheet sticky note pad

$5.50

dog hair. a condiment and an accessory.

$13.00

I couldn't find a parking spot at my work, so I left. They've got enough people 100 sheet sticky note pad

$5.50

If Target had a bar, my life would be perfect 100 sheet sticky note pad

$5.50

I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a child. Do they just show up? Or is there like, a number to call? Swedish dishcloth

$7.90

Sometimes I just have to turn off the news and put on a serial killer documentary so I can relax. 100 sheet sticky note pad

$5.50

I'm never sure if I actually have free time, or if I just keep forgetting shit list pad

$6.50

I used to be an athlete. Now my watch congratulates me for standing up 100 sheet sticky note pad

$5.50

My heart says wine and my stomach says chocolate, but my jeans say, for the love of God woman, eat a salad

$13.00

Trail mix? You mean M & M's with obstacles?

$13.00

It's okay to fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them.

$13.00

I always carry a knife in my purse. You know, in case of cheesecake or something zipper pouch

$11.00

I'm just sayin' if there was a cash bar at back to school night, there'd be no reason to have fundraisers the rest of the year - Cocktail Napkins

$6.50

If you can't remember my name, just say anyone want a margarita, and I'll definitely turn around 100 sheet sticky note pad

$5.50

Wake up. Kick ass. Repeat. 100 sheet sticky note pad

$5.50

Eat a salad they say, it's healthy. You know what never gets recalled? Pie. #teampie

$13.00

Self discipline is tough because I'm the boss of me and that lady runs a real loose ship 100 sheet sticky note pad

$5.50

Adulthood is saying, "After this week, things will slow down a bit." over and over again until you die list pad

$6.50

I wish I could be the person I thought I could be when I bought all this produce

$13.00

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