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After I drop the kids off at school, I go from #momlife to #thuglife in about 6 seconds flat.
After I drop the kids off at school, I go from #momlife to #thuglife in about 6 seconds flat.
$9.00
All of my plants are dead. The good news is, the kids are still alive.
All of my plants are dead. The good news is, the kids are still alive.
$9.00
Humans are my side bitch. Solitude is my main bitch.
Humans are my side bitch. Solitude is my main bitch.
$9.00
I don't mind the calories from alcohol, but when it comes to food I'm like, "Is it worth it? Can I work it? Can I put my thing down flip it and reverse it?"
I don't mind the calories from alcohol, but when it comes to food I'm like, "Is it worth it? Can I work it? Can I put my thing down flip it and reverse it?"
$9.00
I keep saying, "Alexa," when I mean, "Siri," and I can't believe I live in a tie when I'm getting my servant robots mixed up.
I keep saying, "Alexa," when I mean, "Siri," and I can't believe I live in a tie when I'm getting my servant robots mixed up.
$9.00
I talk an awful lot of smack for someone who falls over when putting on their underwear.
I talk an awful lot of smack for someone who falls over when putting on their underwear.
$9.00
I thought I liked coffee. Turns out I like creamer.
I thought I liked coffee. Turns out I like creamer.
$9.00
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is falling off.
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is falling off.
$9.00
I was like "Whatever, bitches." And the bitches whatevered.
I was like "Whatever, bitches." And the bitches whatevered.
$9.00
I've been single for awhile now, and I have to say, it's going very well. Like... it's working out. I think I'm the one.
I've been single for awhile now, and I have to say, it's going very well. Like... it's working out. I think I'm the one.
$9.00
I've loss less than a pound on my five-year long diet. #progressnotperfection
I've loss less than a pound on my five-year long diet. #progressnotperfection
$9.00
If I say, "Let me check my calendar," you should know I'm lying and I just don't want to participate. I lost my calendar in 2016.
If I say, "Let me check my calendar," you should know I'm lying and I just don't want to participate. I lost my calendar in 2016.
$9.00
If I was a care bear, I'd have a glass of wine on my belly
If I was a care bear, I'd have a glass of wine on my belly
$9.00
Isn't it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything, and one hand that's like, "I don't even know how to hold a pencil."
Isn't it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything, and one hand that's like, "I don't even know how to hold a pencil."
$9.00
Notorious RBG
Notorious RBG
$9.00
Wake up. Kick ass. Repeat.
Wake up. Kick ass. Repeat.
$9.00
When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this: you haven't. - Thomas Edison
When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this: you haven't. - Thomas Edison
$9.00