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first rule of 2021, never talk about 2020
first rule of 2021, never talk about 2020
$12.00
me too salsa, me too
me too salsa, me too
$12.00
Dieting is easy ... everything is on fire, because you're in hell
Dieting is easy ... everything is on fire, because you're in hell
$12.00
I said you were the good kind of fat!
I said you were the good kind of fat!
$12.00
part of my says I should stop drinking like this, but the other part of me says don't listen to her she's drunk
part of my says I should stop drinking like this, but the other part of me says don't listen to her she's drunk
$12.00
eight/zero days since I barfed on the carpet
eight/zero days since I barfed on the carpet
$12.00
peace out 2020, don't let the door hit you in the butt
peace out 2020, don't let the door hit you in the butt
$12.00
Trail mix? You mean M & M's with obstacles?
Trail mix? You mean M & M's with obstacles?
$12.00
I need to social distance from the kitchen. I tested positive for a big ass.
I need to social distance from the kitchen. I tested positive for a big ass.
$12.00
I know this doesn't belong here, but I'm going to leave it here anyway. - kids
I know this doesn't belong here, but I'm going to leave it here anyway. - kids
$12.00
So when this is all over.. Should I go to AA or weight watchers first?
So when this is all over.. Should I go to AA or weight watchers first?
$12.00
I ask no favor for my sex. All I ask of our brethren, is that they take their feet off our necks.
I ask no favor for my sex. All I ask of our brethren, is that they take their feet off our necks.
$12.00
Notorious RBG
Notorious RBG
$12.00
I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a child. Do they just show up? Or is there like, a number to call?
I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a child. Do they just show up? Or is there like, a number to call?
$12.00
Santa should totally publish the naughty list. What a great way to meet people.
Santa should totally publish the naughty list. What a great way to meet people.
$12.00
It's almost time for me to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.
It's almost time for me to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.
$12.00
Cookies are my crack, and grandma's my dealer.
Cookies are my crack, and grandma's my dealer.
$12.00
Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to use. You measure that shit with your heart.
Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to use. You measure that shit with your heart.
$12.00
Is it too early to start drinking? NOT asking for a friend.
Is it too early to start drinking? NOT asking for a friend.
$12.00
Those of you quarantined without kids, how is it? Are there naps? Can you just do what you want all day? Talk dirty to me.
Those of you quarantined without kids, how is it? Are there naps? Can you just do what you want all day? Talk dirty to me.
$12.00
It's okay to fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them.
It's okay to fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them.
$12.00
One of the odder things about being an adult is having a favorite stovetop burner, yet nobody talks about it.
One of the odder things about being an adult is having a favorite stovetop burner, yet nobody talks about it.
$12.00
Why does cooking take 3 hours, eating take 5 seconds, and doing the dishes take 7 long days and 7 long nights?
Why does cooking take 3 hours, eating take 5 seconds, and doing the dishes take 7 long days and 7 long nights?
$12.00
I hate it when healthy me does the grocery shopping because now chubby me needs a snack
I hate it when healthy me does the grocery shopping because now chubby me needs a snack
$12.00