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I planted some vegetables and they actually grew. So there's another freakin' thing I've got to deal with kitchen tea towel
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I hate it when people are around me when I'm trying to parallel park. It's like, "Can I get some privacy here?" cocktail napkins
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I don't pretend to be anything I'm not. Except sober. I've pretended to be sober a time or two.
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Today I completed a chore that I have been putting off for six months. It took 15 minutes. I will learn nothing from this. list pad
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Some women like to be wined and dined. I like to be margarita'd and queso'd Swedish dishcloth
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It's almost time for me to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.
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Dog owners: I prepped for a month to adopt. Cat owners: I found him in the trash. 100 sheet sticky note pad
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Not all of us were made to cook. Some of us were made to have conversations with the person cooking. kitchen tea towel
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Security Guard: Ma'am, you can't bring outside drinks in here. Me: This is a service mimosa.
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when I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children like the bottle says.
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Equal rights for others doesn't mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
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Self discipline is tough, because I'm the boss of me, and that lady runs a real loose ship list pad
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I'm just going to flip this omelet here annnnd.. scrambled eggs it is.
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$22.00
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