Gifts Under $20
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Don't let them treat you like free chips and salsa. You're guac baby, guac
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I see all these moms who can do everything, and I think I should have them do some stuff for me.
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My heart says wine and my stomach says chocolate, but my jeans say, for the love of God woman, eat a salad
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It's okay to fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them.
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Eat a salad they say, it's healthy. You know what never gets recalled? Pie. #teampie
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I wish I could be the person I thought I could be when I bought all this produce
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I love it when my pet sighs. It's like, what ails you my furry little freeloader?
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ME: *Getting off the couch* I'll be right back. MY DOG: I'd really feel more comfortable if we went together.
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Santa should totally publish the naughty list. What a great way to meet people.
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