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I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a child. Do they just show up? Or is there like, a number to call?

I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a child. Do they just show up? Or is there like, a number to call?

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to use. You measure that shit with your heart.

Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to use. You measure that shit with your heart.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

Does anyone know which page of the Bible explains how to turn water into wine? Asking for a friend.

Does anyone know which page of the Bible explains how to turn water into wine? Asking for a friend.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

Canvas zipper pouch printed with "The adult version of 'Head, shoulders, knees and toes' is 'Wallet, glasses, keys, and phone.'" in black text.

The Adult Version of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes | Zipper Pouch

5.0 (14)

$11.00

$11.00

Canvas makeup bag printed with "I'd rather arrive late than ugly" in black text.

I'd Rather Arrive Late Than Ugly | Makeup Bag

5.0 (14)

$11.00

$11.00

part of me says I should stop drinking like this, but the other part of me says don't listen to her she's drunk

part of me says I should stop drinking like this, but the other part of me says don't listen to her she's drunk

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

Canvas zipper pouch printed with "I'm stuck somewhere between I need to save money and you only live once" in black text.

Stuck Between Save Money and "You Only Live Once" | Zipper Pouch

5.0 (14)

$11.00

$11.00

If Target had a bar, my life would be perfect.

If Target had a bar, my life would be perfect.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

they should put more wine in a bottle so there's enough for two people

they should put more wine in a bottle so there's enough for two people

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

Canvas zipper pouch printed with "I hate it when I put something in a 'safe place' and basically lose it forever" in black text.

I Put It in a "Safe Place" and Lost It Forever | Zipper Pouch

5.0 (14)

$11.00

$11.00

stove for display only kitchen tea towel

stove for display only kitchen tea towel

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

I just grabbed the milk from the fridge and I'm pretty sure I heard the wine say, "what the hell?"

I just grabbed the milk from the fridge and I'm pretty sure I heard the wine say, "what the hell?"

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

Canvas makeup bag printed with "What did people do before chapstick? Just die?" in black text.

What Did People Do Before Chapstick? Just Die? | Makeup Bag

5.0 (14)

$11.00

$11.00

Canvas zipper pouch printed with "I used to be cool, now I'm a tiny person's snack bitch" in black text.

Used to Be Cool, Now a Tiny Person's Snack Bitch | Zipper Pouch

5.0 (14)

$11.00

$11.00

I don't know the secret to happiness, but I tell you what - I've never been sad at a Mexican Restaurant.

I don't know the secret to happiness, but I tell you what - I've never been sad at a Mexican Restaurant.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

are we having drinks or dranks? i need to dress accordingly

are we having drinks or dranks? i need to dress accordingly

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

As soon as you say, "My child would never," here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

As soon as you say, "My child would never," here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

Natural canvas zipper pouch with a black YKK zipper, printed in black with "Parenting Hack: There are no hacks. Everything is hard. These kids don't listen. This is your life now. Godspeed."

Parenting Hack: There Are No Hacks. Godspeed. | Zipper Pouch

5.0 (14)

$11.00

$11.00

Beware of the dog. The cat is shady as hell also.

Beware of the dog. The cat is shady as hell also.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

After I'm done snacking, I have to show my hands to the dog like I'm a black jack dealer

After I'm done snacking, I have to show my hands to the dog like I'm a black jack dealer

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

I'm outdoorsy in that I like drinking on patios.

I'm outdoorsy in that I like drinking on patios.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East".

When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East".

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

I love bacon because you can wrap it around everything. It's basically the duct tape of food.

I love bacon because you can wrap it around everything. It's basically the duct tape of food.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

Thank you, craft beer breweries, for making my drinking problem seem like a neat hobby.

Thank you, craft beer breweries, for making my drinking problem seem like a neat hobby.

5.0 (82)

$13.00

$13.00

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