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sometimes i drink water to surprise my liver
sometimes i drink water to surprise my liver
$13.00
You're like really pretty zipper pouch
You're like really pretty zipper pouch
$11.00
look at me getting all married and shit zipper pouch
look at me getting all married and shit zipper pouch
$11.00
the most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink
the most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink
$13.00
cat butts
cat butts
$13.00
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I'll drink the red.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I'll drink the red.
$13.00
According to this box of mac and cheese, I'm a family of four
According to this box of mac and cheese, I'm a family of four
$13.00
I would like to thank whoever saw the coffee bean and thought, "Hey, if I smash that and mix it with water, it will be AWESOME!"
I would like to thank whoever saw the coffee bean and thought, "Hey, if I smash that and mix it with water, it will be AWESOME!"
$13.00
Security Guard: Ma'am, you can't bring outside drinks in here. Me: This is a service mimosa zipper pouch
Security Guard: Ma'am, you can't bring outside drinks in here. Me: This is a service mimosa zipper pouch
$11.00
I planted some vegetables and they actually grew. So there's another freakin' thing I've got to deal with kitchen tea towel
I planted some vegetables and they actually grew. So there's another freakin' thing I've got to deal with kitchen tea towel
$13.00
I don't pretend to be anything I'm not. Except sober. I've pretended to be sober a time or two.
I don't pretend to be anything I'm not. Except sober. I've pretended to be sober a time or two.
$13.00
It's almost time for me to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.
It's almost time for me to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.
$13.00
Security Guard: Ma'am, you can't bring outside drinks in here. Me: This is a service mimosa.
Security Guard: Ma'am, you can't bring outside drinks in here. Me: This is a service mimosa.
$13.00
High maintenance zipper pouch
High maintenance zipper pouch
$11.00
Equal rights for others doesn't mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
Equal rights for others doesn't mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
$13.00
Do what you love and the money will follow. Ate pizza, drank wine, and took a 3 hour nap. Now I wait.
Do what you love and the money will follow. Ate pizza, drank wine, and took a 3 hour nap. Now I wait.
$13.00
Dieting is easy ... everything is on fire, because you're in hell
Dieting is easy ... everything is on fire, because you're in hell
$13.00
when I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children like the bottle says.
when I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children like the bottle says.
$13.00
I get so confused when I see skinny people running. Aren't you done? zipper pouch
I get so confused when I see skinny people running. Aren't you done? zipper pouch
$11.00
I'm just going to flip this omelet here annnnd.. scrambled eggs it is.
I'm just going to flip this omelet here annnnd.. scrambled eggs it is.
$13.00
saying, "and shit" after everything can make it sound gangster. For example: "I like to clip coupons and shit." zipper pouch
saying, "and shit" after everything can make it sound gangster. For example: "I like to clip coupons and shit." zipper pouch
$11.00
cat hair. a condiment and an accessory.
cat hair. a condiment and an accessory.
$13.00
I couldn't decide if I wanted bangs or not, so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks just awful. Really dodged a bullet there zipper pouch
I couldn't decide if I wanted bangs or not, so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks just awful. Really dodged a bullet there zipper pouch
$11.00
first I drink the coffee, then I do the things zipper pouch
first I drink the coffee, then I do the things zipper pouch
$11.00