tea towels by ellembee gift, funny kitchen towels, ellembee towels

people who say I'm hard to buy for clearly don't know where to buy wine.

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Pivot

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plant lady is the new cat lady

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Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

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real friends don't care if your house is messy. they only care if you have wine.

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She believed she could, but she was really tired, so she didn't

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so how do you stop eating chips and salsa

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Some days I amaze myself

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some days should come with a warning: today is going to suck, so bring alcohol.

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sometimes i drink water to surprise my liver

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stove for display only

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talk to me goose.

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the most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink

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the pillsbury doughboy is my spirit animal

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They don't know we know they know we know

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they should put more wine in a bottle so there's enough for 2 people

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This actually IS my first rodeo

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this beer tastes like I'm not going to work tomorrow

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time to start cleaning my house. and by cleaning my house, i mean drinking wine and spraying everything with febreeze.

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up north girl

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Warning: Drinking may cause memory loss. Or even worse, memory loss.

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Well, since there's two of us, we should just split a bottle. You want red, white, or vodka?

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whatever. I'll just date myself.

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When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East".

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