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Dear Santa, I can explain. But first, how much do you already know?
Dear Santa, I can explain. But first, how much do you already know?
$13.00
I wish I could put it in the bank, because walking around with this much Kohl's cash makes me nervous
I wish I could put it in the bank, because walking around with this much Kohl's cash makes me nervous
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It's funny how all the trust goes out the window when you're looking for the remote kitchen towel
It's funny how all the trust goes out the window when you're looking for the remote kitchen towel
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I like to play a game called nap roulette kitchen tea towel
I like to play a game called nap roulette kitchen tea towel
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I hate it when healthy me does the grocery shopping because now chubby me needs a snack
I hate it when healthy me does the grocery shopping because now chubby me needs a snack
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Mom, I have a papercut. Cool. You were 9 lbs at birth.
Mom, I have a papercut. Cool. You were 9 lbs at birth.
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She believed she could, but she was really tired, so she didn't
She believed she could, but she was really tired, so she didn't
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Sometimes I feel like I have my life together. But then my windshield fogs up and I don't know what temperature to use to get rid of it.
Sometimes I feel like I have my life together. But then my windshield fogs up and I don't know what temperature to use to get rid of it.
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In dog beers, I've only had one.
In dog beers, I've only had one.
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What I say, "Get in the car." What my kids hear, "Run around the front yard till mom says the F-word."
What I say, "Get in the car." What my kids hear, "Run around the front yard till mom says the F-word."
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welcome to the shit show
welcome to the shit show
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I hate it when I say I want to lose… funny kitchen tea towel
I hate it when I say I want to lose… funny kitchen tea towel
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people who say I'm hard to buy for clearly don't know where to buy wine.
people who say I'm hard to buy for clearly don't know where to buy wine.
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Real friends don't care if your house is messy. they only care if you have wine kitchen tea towel
Real friends don't care if your house is messy. they only care if you have wine kitchen tea towel
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I either have my hair and make up done, or I look homeless. There is no in between kitchen tea towel
I either have my hair and make up done, or I look homeless. There is no in between kitchen tea towel
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I'm so grateful for my children. Without them, I never would've known how great wine goes with chicken nuggets kitchen tea towel
I'm so grateful for my children. Without them, I never would've known how great wine goes with chicken nuggets kitchen tea towel
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Notorious RBG
Notorious RBG
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I'm just saying if there was a cash bar at back to school night there'd be no reason to have fundraisers the rest of the year kitchen towel
I'm just saying if there was a cash bar at back to school night there'd be no reason to have fundraisers the rest of the year kitchen towel
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We keep tongs in the drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer
We keep tongs in the drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer
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Being childfree sucks. The only thing I get to do is whatever the hell I want.
Being childfree sucks. The only thing I get to do is whatever the hell I want.
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Meanwhile, my dog is living his best life
Meanwhile, my dog is living his best life
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Behind every great man is the drawer I need to get into. What are you even doing in the kitchen right now kitchen towel
Behind every great man is the drawer I need to get into. What are you even doing in the kitchen right now kitchen towel
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I just want to let you know that if you ever need a plant killed, I'm the person for the job.
I just want to let you know that if you ever need a plant killed, I'm the person for the job.
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Procrastination is a good thing, you always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today funny kitchen towel
Procrastination is a good thing, you always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today funny kitchen towel
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